We Shall All Be Healed
Sunday, October 31, 2004
congratulations, kevnation is offically dead with the exception of the front page and this blog.
fat chance I'll keep the domain when it expires.
current top 10 song list:
1) Q and Not U - Wonderful People
2) Rocket From the Crypt - I Wanna Know What I Wanna Know
3) Bad Brains - Pay to Cum
4) Fish's Eddy (local) - Westfield Girsl (are bad news)
5) They Might be Giants - Bastard Wants to Hit Me
6) Mars Volta - Take the Veil Carpan Taxt
7) Ted Leo / Pharmacists - Me And Mia
8) Luciano - Give Praise
9) Wilco - At Least That's What She Said
10) Rufus Wainwright - April Fools
Another Malloween has come and gone. On Saturday, I got pretty messed up, but had a great time. My card playing has been getting slightly better recently. I won on Saturday, that was good. Lucas out-played me, but that doesn't always determine the winner. I certainly out played him when he went on tilt the last hand of the game -- and that's what counted.
note to self: andy owes me $6
It's now been officially 2 months here --- and yet it feels like so much longer. Some days, I still just feel like listening to my music all day, and not talk to anyone, but I still have to put up with all the bullshit and put on my happy face, and say "everything's fine! and you?"
but Reel Big Fish is coming to Buffalo November 15th -- it's been so long since I skanked. Who knows, maybe I'll find a nice mod girl to settle down with at the show, lol. A shame I left my ska clothes at home.
a real fucking shame! im serious
fat chance I'll keep the domain when it expires.
current top 10 song list:
1) Q and Not U - Wonderful People
2) Rocket From the Crypt - I Wanna Know What I Wanna Know
3) Bad Brains - Pay to Cum
4) Fish's Eddy (local) - Westfield Girsl (are bad news)
5) They Might be Giants - Bastard Wants to Hit Me
6) Mars Volta - Take the Veil Carpan Taxt
7) Ted Leo / Pharmacists - Me And Mia
8) Luciano - Give Praise
9) Wilco - At Least That's What She Said
10) Rufus Wainwright - April Fools
Another Malloween has come and gone. On Saturday, I got pretty messed up, but had a great time. My card playing has been getting slightly better recently. I won on Saturday, that was good. Lucas out-played me, but that doesn't always determine the winner. I certainly out played him when he went on tilt the last hand of the game -- and that's what counted.
note to self: andy owes me $6
It's now been officially 2 months here --- and yet it feels like so much longer. Some days, I still just feel like listening to my music all day, and not talk to anyone, but I still have to put up with all the bullshit and put on my happy face, and say "everything's fine! and you?"
but Reel Big Fish is coming to Buffalo November 15th -- it's been so long since I skanked. Who knows, maybe I'll find a nice mod girl to settle down with at the show, lol. A shame I left my ska clothes at home.
a real fucking shame! im serious
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Been apathetic lately. I still don't have a reason to get up in the morning with the exception of classes, my friday radio show at 6, and breakfast once or twice a week.
I love our local record store, "Home of the Hits." Brought two $1 CDs there yesterday that looked interesting, along with a brand new Bright Eyes CD that I've been enjoying.
I'm also going to speak with the station manager Chappy on Friday for more info on trying to broadcast Buff State's basketball games this Winter. That would be so amazing if I could do that -- it'd take up a lot more of my time, and might even make me more interested in pursuing a Communications major (if I'm good enough, hah).
Friday's playlist will consist of Rufus Wainwright, Bright Eyes, Ben Folds, Squirrel Nut Zippers, Libertines, Jets to Brazil, Jimmy Eat Worlld, They Might Be Giants, Wilco, and some local stuff. A lot of other music too, but that'll be the featured crap, the ones I'll talk about. They Might Be Giants "Bastard Wants to Hit Me" is a hilarious song with distorted vocals and it rocks.
I got an A on my economics exam, and I plan to do so on my Political Science exam next Wednesday. All I need to do is somehow do better in Human Bio. Blargh.
I've written a little poetry here and there, this is the most recent piece. It's not very good, as in it has absolutely no structure or form, but it works. I've done worse.
"gray"
I haven't seen the sun in twenty-eight days,
and the clouds are calling for a change.
The leaves are always the same,
the trees are always gray, and
the mornings never change.
The gray clouds crash from the gray skies, onto
the softest buildings with the firmest ceilings,
so the sun can break through everything
except your room, and the those tired, gray feelings.
Boredom hits you to the highest degree,
the perpetual sex just a plea,
to escape the gray buildings that
make you empty.
the alcohol destroys me
While evading everything,
the only thing left that
is never the same.
I love our local record store, "Home of the Hits." Brought two $1 CDs there yesterday that looked interesting, along with a brand new Bright Eyes CD that I've been enjoying.
I'm also going to speak with the station manager Chappy on Friday for more info on trying to broadcast Buff State's basketball games this Winter. That would be so amazing if I could do that -- it'd take up a lot more of my time, and might even make me more interested in pursuing a Communications major (if I'm good enough, hah).
Friday's playlist will consist of Rufus Wainwright, Bright Eyes, Ben Folds, Squirrel Nut Zippers, Libertines, Jets to Brazil, Jimmy Eat Worlld, They Might Be Giants, Wilco, and some local stuff. A lot of other music too, but that'll be the featured crap, the ones I'll talk about. They Might Be Giants "Bastard Wants to Hit Me" is a hilarious song with distorted vocals and it rocks.
I got an A on my economics exam, and I plan to do so on my Political Science exam next Wednesday. All I need to do is somehow do better in Human Bio. Blargh.
I've written a little poetry here and there, this is the most recent piece. It's not very good, as in it has absolutely no structure or form, but it works. I've done worse.
"gray"
I haven't seen the sun in twenty-eight days,
and the clouds are calling for a change.
The leaves are always the same,
the trees are always gray, and
the mornings never change.
The gray clouds crash from the gray skies, onto
the softest buildings with the firmest ceilings,
so the sun can break through everything
except your room, and the those tired, gray feelings.
Boredom hits you to the highest degree,
the perpetual sex just a plea,
to escape the gray buildings that
make you empty.
the alcohol destroys me
While evading everything,
the only thing left that
is never the same.
Sunday, October 24, 2004
Kev's Current Top 10 - Songs
____________________________
1) Ted Leo & The Pharmacists - Where Have All The Rude Boys Gone?
2) Lifter Puller - Secret Santa Cruz
3) Rocket from the Crypt - I Wanna Know What I Wanna Know
4) Tom Waits - Shake It
5) Rev. Horton Heat - Revival
6) The Libertines - Last Post on the Bugle
7) Junior Murvin - I Was Appointed
8) Mars Volta - Roulette Dares (This is the Haunt)
9) Talib Kweli - I Try
10) Koufax - Let Us Know
____________________________
1) Ted Leo & The Pharmacists - Where Have All The Rude Boys Gone?
2) Lifter Puller - Secret Santa Cruz
3) Rocket from the Crypt - I Wanna Know What I Wanna Know
4) Tom Waits - Shake It
5) Rev. Horton Heat - Revival
6) The Libertines - Last Post on the Bugle
7) Junior Murvin - I Was Appointed
8) Mars Volta - Roulette Dares (This is the Haunt)
9) Talib Kweli - I Try
10) Koufax - Let Us Know
Thursday, October 21, 2004
Feeling a lot better today. I avoided the people I don't like, and hung out a lot more with the people I do like. I went to Intervarsity Tuesday and Thursday, we talked about John 21:18 and had a really interesting discussion. Also includes probably my absolute favorite piece of prophecy in all of the Bible, when Jesus tells Peter three times that he will betray him, and Peter denies it each time. But, well, we all know how that turned out.
Been playing RISK the past few nights with James and some other guys, Andy, Colby, and Lucas, who's pretty awesome. He's also the best at RISK. I had Australia AND Asia, and still lost.
Aced an Economics exam today (or at least I like to think that I did). Things are going pretty good, with the exception of Human Bio, which I really need to start doing better in.
I talked to my parents, had a good conversation with my mother and father. Stayed up late the past few nights watching the Red Sox amazing comeback, toppling the Yankees. Excited about my mostly-ska-and-reggae show for tomorrow morning. I'm just feeling better. I still don't like the things I mentioned in my previous post, but I'm back into my usual, realistic, calm self.
Tomorrow's show will include The Slackers, Hepcat, The Skatalites, The Gaylads (have you listened to the CD I gave you, heather?), Squirrel Nut Zippers, Buju Banton, and other artists.
I'll throw in some cuts from Tom Waits creepy new album, too. Check out "Shake It", it's just so fucking awesome and weird.
My fridgerator is also looking pretty awesome. I have vodka (not too much!), apple cider, milk, bread, pepperoni, cheese, apple, a small thingy of ice cream, water, and root beer.
yeah thats it
Been playing RISK the past few nights with James and some other guys, Andy, Colby, and Lucas, who's pretty awesome. He's also the best at RISK. I had Australia AND Asia, and still lost.
Aced an Economics exam today (or at least I like to think that I did). Things are going pretty good, with the exception of Human Bio, which I really need to start doing better in.
I talked to my parents, had a good conversation with my mother and father. Stayed up late the past few nights watching the Red Sox amazing comeback, toppling the Yankees. Excited about my mostly-ska-and-reggae show for tomorrow morning. I'm just feeling better. I still don't like the things I mentioned in my previous post, but I'm back into my usual, realistic, calm self.
Tomorrow's show will include The Slackers, Hepcat, The Skatalites, The Gaylads (have you listened to the CD I gave you, heather?), Squirrel Nut Zippers, Buju Banton, and other artists.
I'll throw in some cuts from Tom Waits creepy new album, too. Check out "Shake It", it's just so fucking awesome and weird.
My fridgerator is also looking pretty awesome. I have vodka (not too much!), apple cider, milk, bread, pepperoni, cheese, apple, a small thingy of ice cream, water, and root beer.
yeah thats it
Monday, October 18, 2004
Sometimes, you'll have a relatively normal day, do some things, talk to some people -- make it back to your room, and just want to cry.
I laid in bed for two hours tonight not doing anything. Not sleeping, barely thinking, just lied there. Three people called my phone, so I turned it off.
Things aren't bad here. I have my problems with certain people, but I deal with them in a mature fashion. I've made a few solid friendships, and plenty of "friends."
Today though, I just wanted to leave. Wanted to go back home and see my parents, if only for a day. I wanted things back to the way they were. Some days, I get sick of the fake relationships I've made with people here. I get sick of telling people "I'm fine," when I really feel like killing someone. I get sick of having my home be a small room that doesn't offer me much privacy anyway. I don't want to hide my emotions, although that's really the only option I have. I don't want to drink alone when I know it's only hurting me. I don't want to fail a class I have absolutely no desire or motivation to do well in anyway. I don't want drama in my life, because I absolutely despise it.
In a few days, or a week, or whenever, maybe I'll feel completely different. But tonight -- just tonight -- I don't want to be here.
I laid in bed for two hours tonight not doing anything. Not sleeping, barely thinking, just lied there. Three people called my phone, so I turned it off.
Things aren't bad here. I have my problems with certain people, but I deal with them in a mature fashion. I've made a few solid friendships, and plenty of "friends."
Today though, I just wanted to leave. Wanted to go back home and see my parents, if only for a day. I wanted things back to the way they were. Some days, I get sick of the fake relationships I've made with people here. I get sick of telling people "I'm fine," when I really feel like killing someone. I get sick of having my home be a small room that doesn't offer me much privacy anyway. I don't want to hide my emotions, although that's really the only option I have. I don't want to drink alone when I know it's only hurting me. I don't want to fail a class I have absolutely no desire or motivation to do well in anyway. I don't want drama in my life, because I absolutely despise it.
In a few days, or a week, or whenever, maybe I'll feel completely different. But tonight -- just tonight -- I don't want to be here.
Thursday, October 14, 2004
Yesterday was really busy and tiring. Alix woke me up around 9:30, and we talked for a while. I swear, it takes me about one sentence in order to make her burst out laughing.
After Economics class, I went straight to WBNY, and had protocol with my radio buddy Ben. We then took the test while chatting/hanging out with the general manager Chappy, who's hilarious. I got 3.5 questions wrong out of 54, I think that's good enough. I got assigned the 6-9 AM slot right after James and Kenny, who I'll still hang out with, and play some of my obscene music (the kind with swears -- safe hours are 10 PM - 6 AM), and make sure I'm using the carts right to sign off and on. the FF button actually means rewind, it's crazy.
So yeah, Thursday nights I'm not going to get any sleep. Let's hope I can pull this off.
After that, I grabbed some lunch (I'm just going to stop going to the cookery, aka grease pit). The pizza was terrible, but I talked to mom, and she was doing well. Then I met Ben after his class, and we walked to "Home of the Hits" right on Elmwood, and I bought Jets to Brazil and Q and Not U's new album!!!!11 It's so excellent I almost creamed my pants, but then I remember that's icky so I decided not to.
After that I did homework (it sucked), went to dinner, and then BOUGHT MY STEREO at Radio Shack. I was tired during the walk, and luckily the "bengal bus" took us back to campus. I did have to carry my stereo up the stairs. it was heavy.
after I got it set up, I had a stupid RHA meeting I forgot about, and wasn't prepared for. I BS'd my way through 45 minutes of boredom, only being called to talk once.
then i was tired, so i zzzz'd.
Today was mostly my big-class day, with Bio, SWK, INS, Govt/Politics, English. Bleh. I did get a foccacia for lunch though, and it was tasty. Played some poker too -- me and James are looking to work out a little strategey where we -- play as a team. Shhh. I shouldn't even be writing this down, it could come back to haunt me. I also crushed James in chess tonight -- it was super awesome.
I watched "one flew over the cuckcoo's nest" by myself tonight -- it was a fine film, one of Nicholson's better. That's prolly the reason it won 5 academy awards.
zzz. goodnight.
After Economics class, I went straight to WBNY, and had protocol with my radio buddy Ben. We then took the test while chatting/hanging out with the general manager Chappy, who's hilarious. I got 3.5 questions wrong out of 54, I think that's good enough. I got assigned the 6-9 AM slot right after James and Kenny, who I'll still hang out with, and play some of my obscene music (the kind with swears -- safe hours are 10 PM - 6 AM), and make sure I'm using the carts right to sign off and on. the FF button actually means rewind, it's crazy.
So yeah, Thursday nights I'm not going to get any sleep. Let's hope I can pull this off.
After that, I grabbed some lunch (I'm just going to stop going to the cookery, aka grease pit). The pizza was terrible, but I talked to mom, and she was doing well. Then I met Ben after his class, and we walked to "Home of the Hits" right on Elmwood, and I bought Jets to Brazil and Q and Not U's new album!!!!11 It's so excellent I almost creamed my pants, but then I remember that's icky so I decided not to.
After that I did homework (it sucked), went to dinner, and then BOUGHT MY STEREO at Radio Shack. I was tired during the walk, and luckily the "bengal bus" took us back to campus. I did have to carry my stereo up the stairs. it was heavy.
after I got it set up, I had a stupid RHA meeting I forgot about, and wasn't prepared for. I BS'd my way through 45 minutes of boredom, only being called to talk once.
then i was tired, so i zzzz'd.
Today was mostly my big-class day, with Bio, SWK, INS, Govt/Politics, English. Bleh. I did get a foccacia for lunch though, and it was tasty. Played some poker too -- me and James are looking to work out a little strategey where we -- play as a team. Shhh. I shouldn't even be writing this down, it could come back to haunt me. I also crushed James in chess tonight -- it was super awesome.
I watched "one flew over the cuckcoo's nest" by myself tonight -- it was a fine film, one of Nicholson's better. That's prolly the reason it won 5 academy awards.
zzz. goodnight.
Saturday, October 09, 2004
A ton of people went home today, and others are heading out tomorrow. Dave's at his meet in Geneseo, and I really don't want to head out to the cross country party Saturday, I'm sick of beer. Watching "Old School" made me not want to drink tonight either, hah.
Watched the debates with James -- Bush did good, it was pretty much a draw. Burned his Alexisonfire CD, it is SO good. I also burned a lot of underground hip-hop/DJ stuff from Rhapsody that I will be playing on next week's radio show (providing I pass the little test on Tuesday, no problemo) with James and Kenny (from Waldorf, believe it or not). Artists include Aesop Rock, MF Doom, Kool Keith, King Geedorah, Talib Kweli, E-40, DJ XMD, and DJ Shadow. Check out Aesop Rock's "9-5ers Anthem", if you can. One of the best rap songs I've ever heard.
But yeah, I'm just kinda lonely tonight. I could have gone over to Porter and hung out with the crazies on the 3rd floor, but I just didn't feel like going. Only trip I made was for my chicken finger foccacia with lettuce and dressing. Those things are so good, it's sick.
Today I chilled with Jeff Fose for my last 3 hours of training (after knowingly bombing my bio exam), played some Why?, Wilco, and Fog. On the show last night from 2-6, I got to yell "there's nothing wrong with being a hick!" on the air. It was great. With Jeff, we chatted back and forth for a little:
jeff - yeah, so the number is 878-5104, give us a call. my trainee kevin will even greet you with a friendly howdy.
me - please call, i'm so desperately lonely. jeff doesn't say anything, he just does his crossword puzzle.
Watched the debates with James -- Bush did good, it was pretty much a draw. Burned his Alexisonfire CD, it is SO good. I also burned a lot of underground hip-hop/DJ stuff from Rhapsody that I will be playing on next week's radio show (providing I pass the little test on Tuesday, no problemo) with James and Kenny (from Waldorf, believe it or not). Artists include Aesop Rock, MF Doom, Kool Keith, King Geedorah, Talib Kweli, E-40, DJ XMD, and DJ Shadow. Check out Aesop Rock's "9-5ers Anthem", if you can. One of the best rap songs I've ever heard.
But yeah, I'm just kinda lonely tonight. I could have gone over to Porter and hung out with the crazies on the 3rd floor, but I just didn't feel like going. Only trip I made was for my chicken finger foccacia with lettuce and dressing. Those things are so good, it's sick.
Today I chilled with Jeff Fose for my last 3 hours of training (after knowingly bombing my bio exam), played some Why?, Wilco, and Fog. On the show last night from 2-6, I got to yell "there's nothing wrong with being a hick!" on the air. It was great. With Jeff, we chatted back and forth for a little:
jeff - yeah, so the number is 878-5104, give us a call. my trainee kevin will even greet you with a friendly howdy.
me - please call, i'm so desperately lonely. jeff doesn't say anything, he just does his crossword puzzle.
Monday, October 04, 2004
It's worse when you're young.
I've been listening to a lot of Neva Dinova lately. They are an amazing, Bright-Eyes-esque band from Nebraska. It makes me happy.
Other things clearly do not make me happy, but, just like real life, I'll hide my negative emotions today.
I had a wonderful time with my dad while he was here -- mostly just having his company. We went to the football game, but got soaked to the bone because the rain pounded us for about 30 minutes. We had dinner at the Colter Bay grill, had some buffalo wings and sandwiches, talked about politics and life.
Chilled out in the hotel room with him and watched Most Extreme Challenge on Spike TV. Played some pool in the student union game room. Said hello to like the 7 girls who recognized me on campus. "You wern't lying when you said you were the stud on campus, Kev." Hey, what can I say. I'm the one who everyone says is a "nice guy" but that they'd never go out with me, LOL.
Seriously though, I'm just joking. I don't have 40 free condoms in my drawers for nothing. Joking again.
I still have an annoying cold that's torn my nose to nothing. Flogging Molly plays in the Niagra area on Tuesday, and I can't go because of a meeting. Compromise is a part of life, and I'm slowly learning that here. On small scales no less, but what's there is there.
I have a Christian friend (we're both trying to attend services more often) who likes to tell me her troubles (apparentely I give good advice). I was able to remember a biblical verse from memory the other day for her, and she felt pretty good about it:
Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved. (Psalms 55-22)
That's one thing I find very comforting -- telling my problems to God, speaking to Him -- it just creates a wave of calmness in me. A reminder that I never have to bear my problems alone -- and that I always have friends who understand, and will also listen.
I hope you're happy.
Kevin does not like to show his beautiful face
Kevin gives you the index finger. Alix does not care.
Dave hates you and your things
Niko, Marf, and Anthea (i cant spell)
John got me when I least suspected it
Pete has a nice...stomach?
LOOK OUT
I take at least one sexy picture of myself every 4 days
I've been listening to a lot of Neva Dinova lately. They are an amazing, Bright-Eyes-esque band from Nebraska. It makes me happy.
Other things clearly do not make me happy, but, just like real life, I'll hide my negative emotions today.
I had a wonderful time with my dad while he was here -- mostly just having his company. We went to the football game, but got soaked to the bone because the rain pounded us for about 30 minutes. We had dinner at the Colter Bay grill, had some buffalo wings and sandwiches, talked about politics and life.
Chilled out in the hotel room with him and watched Most Extreme Challenge on Spike TV. Played some pool in the student union game room. Said hello to like the 7 girls who recognized me on campus. "You wern't lying when you said you were the stud on campus, Kev." Hey, what can I say. I'm the one who everyone says is a "nice guy" but that they'd never go out with me, LOL.
Seriously though, I'm just joking. I don't have 40 free condoms in my drawers for nothing. Joking again.
I still have an annoying cold that's torn my nose to nothing. Flogging Molly plays in the Niagra area on Tuesday, and I can't go because of a meeting. Compromise is a part of life, and I'm slowly learning that here. On small scales no less, but what's there is there.
I have a Christian friend (we're both trying to attend services more often) who likes to tell me her troubles (apparentely I give good advice). I was able to remember a biblical verse from memory the other day for her, and she felt pretty good about it:
Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved. (Psalms 55-22)
That's one thing I find very comforting -- telling my problems to God, speaking to Him -- it just creates a wave of calmness in me. A reminder that I never have to bear my problems alone -- and that I always have friends who understand, and will also listen.
I hope you're happy.
Kevin does not like to show his beautiful face
Kevin gives you the index finger. Alix does not care.
Dave hates you and your things
Niko, Marf, and Anthea (i cant spell)
John got me when I least suspected it
Pete has a nice...stomach?
LOOK OUT
I take at least one sexy picture of myself every 4 days
