I keep making decisions and keep taking incredible risks in all aspects of my life, and most of them have turned out favorably. There is, however, many more weeks left in the semester. Many more weeks to entirely compromise my morals and ideals, rather than just partially.

I won my friends' poker tournament the other day, and earned more money in a cash game, through one big hand of A-A. $200 profit overall, with another $50 earned today through the mathmatically enforced game of Omaha Hi/Lo. The key to that game is not playing like a fish, which I am so fucking tempted to do, cause otherwise online Omaha is the most boring shit in the world. But it's profitable.

I can calculate hands within a reasonable amount of time, and have my laptop in case of any difficulties. I know 7/9 of my hand by the flop, and I know exactly where I stand to win the hand or not on 4th street. I plan on playing 8/b for an hour or so tomorrow -- if I know what I'm doing, I'll have more profit at the end of the session.

This is all a reasonable income and success for a kid who's a novice poker player. And no matter in what way I'll manage to spend and lose money, I'm going to have a hard time ending this semester in the red, earnings wise.

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In the rest of my life, nothing seems to be going quite as well. I've made bad choices and decisions, which I've yet to see the repercussions. I turn to God, and immediately feel horrible because for the past 3 months, I've only turned to Him in crisis.

A lot of people I know see therapists. Maybe I should consider one.

It's not all blackness, though. There's always hope and some sort of a goal to make. A lot of it involves getting my George Foreman grill to operate successfully, which was achivied with vigor this afternoon. It's a shame the cigar was bitter. But there's a lot more then that, I guarantee. And it's what keeps me going. ¶ 11:54 PM |