We Shall All Be Healed
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
I just realize how similar I look right now (excluding the bloodshot right side of my eye) during the early years of the last year of high school. Similar hair, mostly, but that's almost all I have at this point.
Spring break so far has consisted of me just barely switching flights at the last minute to save myself from spending 3 unnecessary hours in an airport at night, and getting into BWI at midnight.
My mom was adamant about seeing me, and started crying (not too badly) when I hugged her. Dad was much more calm, but still excited at my arrival. The cat wasn't too spooked when I came home.
I have also spent some time with a stressed-out Sarah, who is ready to kill her mother. We talked a little and played N64, it was fun. Had lunch/coffee and a friendly conversation with Heather. Hung out with Vince just goofing around. Went to the dentist (teeth are ok!). Went to the doctor (face/eyes are ok!). Went to lunch with dad at Bob Evans, it was splendiferous. I had home fries. yesssss. Tomorrow I'm going golfing and filling out applications for multiple places of employment.
______________________
I've been thinking about love (the romantic kind) lately, and not just because I need a girlfriend, but because I've read (and found interesting) about how love itself, and the search for a soul mate, can almost be "fake."
Who we "fall in love" with is heavily restricted based on our social class, our economic standing in society. The opportunity for a middle-class white boy such as myself to meet an upper-upper-class minority woman as a life partner just isn't there.
If falling in love is in fact, destiny, then it shouldn't be restricted by something as callous as money, should it? No, but it is. If I can't pay for my lady's dinner -- if I can't pay to go out on a consistent basis, or afford to buy her something, the relationship will eventually disintegrate.
Think about it -- lower-class folks are at a big disadvantage in the long run. If a marriage is going downhill, the more wealthy couple will hide the true problems through things that require money, whether it be a new TV, a family vacation, another kid (ouch), whatever.
Someone may think attractiveness, personality, intelligence are the factors that will determine their soul mate, but all of these things are controlled by the social enviornment one is in, or, as my book says, "class standards."
It talks about the "rituals of love," which I previously mentioned as distractions to a relationship falling apart. Things like travel, gift giving, and dining out. Even non-pecuniary things, such as the ability to "act" in love, will define a relationship. Romantic competence, so to speak. When a person talks about someone they can communicate with, I'm led to believe all they give a shit about is this person's level of romantic competence.
___________________
Disclaimer: The latter part of this entry has NOTHING to do with anyone I know, or have known. It's just random thoughts of mine that I do not necessarily subscribe to, just find provocative and worthy of contemplation.
Your thoughts are welcome. I'll probably write more about this some other time.
Spring break so far has consisted of me just barely switching flights at the last minute to save myself from spending 3 unnecessary hours in an airport at night, and getting into BWI at midnight.
My mom was adamant about seeing me, and started crying (not too badly) when I hugged her. Dad was much more calm, but still excited at my arrival. The cat wasn't too spooked when I came home.
I have also spent some time with a stressed-out Sarah, who is ready to kill her mother. We talked a little and played N64, it was fun. Had lunch/coffee and a friendly conversation with Heather. Hung out with Vince just goofing around. Went to the dentist (teeth are ok!). Went to the doctor (face/eyes are ok!). Went to lunch with dad at Bob Evans, it was splendiferous. I had home fries. yesssss. Tomorrow I'm going golfing and filling out applications for multiple places of employment.
______________________
I've been thinking about love (the romantic kind) lately, and not just because I need a girlfriend, but because I've read (and found interesting) about how love itself, and the search for a soul mate, can almost be "fake."
Who we "fall in love" with is heavily restricted based on our social class, our economic standing in society. The opportunity for a middle-class white boy such as myself to meet an upper-upper-class minority woman as a life partner just isn't there.
If falling in love is in fact, destiny, then it shouldn't be restricted by something as callous as money, should it? No, but it is. If I can't pay for my lady's dinner -- if I can't pay to go out on a consistent basis, or afford to buy her something, the relationship will eventually disintegrate.
Think about it -- lower-class folks are at a big disadvantage in the long run. If a marriage is going downhill, the more wealthy couple will hide the true problems through things that require money, whether it be a new TV, a family vacation, another kid (ouch), whatever.
Someone may think attractiveness, personality, intelligence are the factors that will determine their soul mate, but all of these things are controlled by the social enviornment one is in, or, as my book says, "class standards."
It talks about the "rituals of love," which I previously mentioned as distractions to a relationship falling apart. Things like travel, gift giving, and dining out. Even non-pecuniary things, such as the ability to "act" in love, will define a relationship. Romantic competence, so to speak. When a person talks about someone they can communicate with, I'm led to believe all they give a shit about is this person's level of romantic competence.
___________________
Disclaimer: The latter part of this entry has NOTHING to do with anyone I know, or have known. It's just random thoughts of mine that I do not necessarily subscribe to, just find provocative and worthy of contemplation.
Your thoughts are welcome. I'll probably write more about this some other time.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Today has been a double-edged sword:
Although I absolutely aced my Euro History mid-term (I feel it in my blood), making up for a dismal performance on a Geology exam, I also received a disappointing phone call that shot down any chances for the nice-paying county job I wanted this summer.
I am left with a limited amount of choices. More on that some other time.
I've been listening to WAY too much 80's music later, argh.
Although I absolutely aced my Euro History mid-term (I feel it in my blood), making up for a dismal performance on a Geology exam, I also received a disappointing phone call that shot down any chances for the nice-paying county job I wanted this summer.
I am left with a limited amount of choices. More on that some other time.
I've been listening to WAY too much 80's music later, argh.
Monday, March 21, 2005
This is the life I lead:
For 30 minutes today, I sat on my bed eating Honey Nut Chex out of the box and listening to Bjork's Greatest Hits.
In other news, my damaged face is doing better. The shiner underneath my eye is more of a dim light (although the eyeball itself is still bloodshot on the right side), I can start to eat again on both sides, and there's no more swelling. This strange extra-softness/pseudo-numbness on my temple still remains, however. Let's hope the doc can get that straightened out on Wednesday.
I'm worried to find out how I did on two of my mid-terms tomorrow. I worked a !@#$load to catch up on my two missed weeks this semester, and I don't want to start blowing it after two bad tests.
I can try to keep my B+ in the heavy note-taking European History class on Thursday, with my final mid-term. I leave for BWI (one week in MD) on Friday evening. My only goal is to try and land an interview (the call still hasn't come -- if not by Thursday, then I call them) for the summer job with the Dept. of Health in AACounty.
Last week was a rough one, and I hope this one doesn't last too long. The weekend was better, at least:
Friday I played in a free Hold'Em tournament in the union's game room. Around 55 people, with a solid first prize (iPod shuffle). Needless to say, I would NOT be satisfied with anything less than winning, and at the very least, making the final table.
Ended up at the final table, ironically enough with two other guys (James and Dan) down the hall from me. I played good poker, waiting patiently and bluffing at the right times to stay in to the final 3, where the last person got knocked out on the bubble. Some drunk girl who made it that far, don't know how.
I was short-stacked, and made an all-in soon after, giving my chips over to James (3rd place was a $50 mall gift certificate w/ cash back, I was happy). Dan ended up winning the iPod, and, after an amusing night later on at a bar near campus, Saturday consisted of one thing: more poker.
I played with the usual guys by putting $25 in a 5-person game where the winner gets the iPod. Dan kept the money, and gave the iPod to us.
I got very lucky early on with an all-in that doubled me up against Dan, with a couple other guys still in. I considered it payback for the time he rivered me very luckily earlier in the semester, taking away $50 that should have been mine.
So what happens when me and Dan (this is a different Dan then the one who won the iPod) go heads-up for this wonderful, $110 or so iPod? I make a good comeback from being down in chips to roughly even myself up with him. A hand then came out where after some big betting, I was convinced I was REALLY ahead in the hand. Had pocket queens, with a 9/10/6 showing. Turn card is dead, and the river is --- you guessed it, another 9, giving him trips (that's right, he called all-in with a PAIR OF NINES).
I won't go into details for this week's plans, as they are not very interesting. Will have pictures soon on blog soon.
EDIT - 12/22:
as promised, i have pic-shurrs.
BEFORE THE DISASTER
AFTER THE DISASTER
shit thats ugly up there
and just for good measure: THIS IS MY FRIEND DAVE
Dave Kelting IS the property of jesus. he will be my roommate next year, uh-oh.
For 30 minutes today, I sat on my bed eating Honey Nut Chex out of the box and listening to Bjork's Greatest Hits.
In other news, my damaged face is doing better. The shiner underneath my eye is more of a dim light (although the eyeball itself is still bloodshot on the right side), I can start to eat again on both sides, and there's no more swelling. This strange extra-softness/pseudo-numbness on my temple still remains, however. Let's hope the doc can get that straightened out on Wednesday.
I'm worried to find out how I did on two of my mid-terms tomorrow. I worked a !@#$load to catch up on my two missed weeks this semester, and I don't want to start blowing it after two bad tests.
I can try to keep my B+ in the heavy note-taking European History class on Thursday, with my final mid-term. I leave for BWI (one week in MD) on Friday evening. My only goal is to try and land an interview (the call still hasn't come -- if not by Thursday, then I call them) for the summer job with the Dept. of Health in AACounty.
Last week was a rough one, and I hope this one doesn't last too long. The weekend was better, at least:
Friday I played in a free Hold'Em tournament in the union's game room. Around 55 people, with a solid first prize (iPod shuffle). Needless to say, I would NOT be satisfied with anything less than winning, and at the very least, making the final table.
Ended up at the final table, ironically enough with two other guys (James and Dan) down the hall from me. I played good poker, waiting patiently and bluffing at the right times to stay in to the final 3, where the last person got knocked out on the bubble. Some drunk girl who made it that far, don't know how.
I was short-stacked, and made an all-in soon after, giving my chips over to James (3rd place was a $50 mall gift certificate w/ cash back, I was happy). Dan ended up winning the iPod, and, after an amusing night later on at a bar near campus, Saturday consisted of one thing: more poker.
I played with the usual guys by putting $25 in a 5-person game where the winner gets the iPod. Dan kept the money, and gave the iPod to us.
I got very lucky early on with an all-in that doubled me up against Dan, with a couple other guys still in. I considered it payback for the time he rivered me very luckily earlier in the semester, taking away $50 that should have been mine.
So what happens when me and Dan (this is a different Dan then the one who won the iPod) go heads-up for this wonderful, $110 or so iPod? I make a good comeback from being down in chips to roughly even myself up with him. A hand then came out where after some big betting, I was convinced I was REALLY ahead in the hand. Had pocket queens, with a 9/10/6 showing. Turn card is dead, and the river is --- you guessed it, another 9, giving him trips (that's right, he called all-in with a PAIR OF NINES).
I won't go into details for this week's plans, as they are not very interesting. Will have pictures soon on blog soon.
EDIT - 12/22:
as promised, i have pic-shurrs.
BEFORE THE DISASTER
AFTER THE DISASTER
shit thats ugly up there
and just for good measure: THIS IS MY FRIEND DAVE
Dave Kelting IS the property of jesus. he will be my roommate next year, uh-oh.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
It's been a while since I blogged in here -- I need to do it more often, lest I want to never remember anything I do. EVER.
Today's been a really enjoyable, simply for the fact that it's been incredibly laid back, yet I've still gotten things done. I didn't think that was possible. I came into English late for the 3rd time this semester, yet my professor doesn't care cause I'm awesome. Me and another guy in the class (much more philosophical and liberal than I am) are working on a completely separate project from the rest of the class which we have to present: You know that book on the sidebar that I claim I've been reading -- Ernst Cassirer's "Language and Myth?" Well that's what the presentation is on, and we've got some nice information and examples we have to figure out a way to convey to our class.
Here's a sample of what we're doing: try and comprehend it! Most of my blog readers (with the exception of Dan, who I know is reading this) should be able to grasp it all:
· Words themselves assume the power of what they’re describing.
· As the word is first in origin, it is also supreme in power.
· In the primitive world, one word, or symbol, meant only one thing, and thereby can be distinctly reflective of something. This is in contrast to the trend of today’s naming process for children (creative names), and how it strays away from the original concept. We have names like “Democracy,” “Boston,” or “Lilac.” It is also in contrast to the evolution of the English language, which has multiple definitions for words such as “weather/whether.”
· Most people’s thought processes are in language (fragments with bad spelling). Some folks brighter than others have the ability to think in imagery, rather than in words. But those who think in language will commonly associate random words or sentence fragments with a certain event that will trigger a memory. Other people may mention specific words that will trigger a memory, which explains the power language has over us.
· The conscious experience is not merely wedded to the word, but it is consumed by it.
You can’t have a conscious experience without reducing it to thought.
It could be snowing and cold outside, but you wouldn’t be able to “have” that experience without the words that you use to evaluate the situation for yourself.
____________________
Plenty more where that came from.
Anyway, after class I hung around and ended up having lunch with my friend Niko, and had a refreshing 2 hour lunch or so, where we just chatted about stuff.
After lazing around, went to dinner (which was surprisingly good for 2 nights in a row!) and headed to the gym, where we picked up a dodgeball team sign-up sheet. Gonna be awesome. Eventually ended up back there with Dave and Chris in an exciting cut-throat racquetball match, where Dave's balls almost got nailed. "My sex life flashed before my eyes."
Unfortunatley, somebody stole my shoes today. No, not my $150 boots, my crappy tennis shoes that I used to play snow football last night at 1 AM. It was still my only pair that i KIND OF NEEDED.
Maybe I'll ask the parental unit to wire me some money for new shoes..
In other news, I recently got my Anthropology exam back, and I got an A MINUS. My European History paper which I BS'd a lot got me a well-deserved B+ (it wasnt ALL bullshit). Not too bad for a guy who missed two weeks of classes, I'd say. Not bad at all.
I'm finally on MYSPACE: http://profiles.myspace.com/users/19979723
Now if only Buff State could get on Facebook, I'd be all set..
The outlook for a Interpol/Q and Not U show is looking grim, as $25 is a lot for me right now, and Niko is down to..well, she doesn't have a lot of money at the moment, which creates a problem. And I haven't been playing cards lately, so that tosses any sort of income I have out the window.
Speaking of income, I'd about ready to send off a short (but complete) resume to Anne Arundel County's department of Health for a possible summer job working in their Division of Enviornmental Health sampling water from either the shoreline, numerous wells across the county, or public swimming pools (or working in the Sanitary something dept..) Either way, I'd get to be outside, I'd get 30-35 hours a week, and I'd be making $9.82 an hour and getting reimbursed for gas.
"Better than retail, better than retail, better than retail..." Trying to get an interview over spring break, which is March 28th to April 2nd, I think.
I'm too awake to try and sleep. This aint good. On the plus side, for next year's housing, we all get "points" depending on GPA, community activities, and credits. I got 743 points, while a lot of people got, well, a lot less. I'm just happy I got a good amount of points, this might help offset any possible suitemate that has almost 0 points.
Today's been a really enjoyable, simply for the fact that it's been incredibly laid back, yet I've still gotten things done. I didn't think that was possible. I came into English late for the 3rd time this semester, yet my professor doesn't care cause I'm awesome. Me and another guy in the class (much more philosophical and liberal than I am) are working on a completely separate project from the rest of the class which we have to present: You know that book on the sidebar that I claim I've been reading -- Ernst Cassirer's "Language and Myth?" Well that's what the presentation is on, and we've got some nice information and examples we have to figure out a way to convey to our class.
Here's a sample of what we're doing: try and comprehend it! Most of my blog readers (with the exception of Dan, who I know is reading this) should be able to grasp it all:
· Words themselves assume the power of what they’re describing.
· As the word is first in origin, it is also supreme in power.
· In the primitive world, one word, or symbol, meant only one thing, and thereby can be distinctly reflective of something. This is in contrast to the trend of today’s naming process for children (creative names), and how it strays away from the original concept. We have names like “Democracy,” “Boston,” or “Lilac.” It is also in contrast to the evolution of the English language, which has multiple definitions for words such as “weather/whether.”
· Most people’s thought processes are in language (fragments with bad spelling). Some folks brighter than others have the ability to think in imagery, rather than in words. But those who think in language will commonly associate random words or sentence fragments with a certain event that will trigger a memory. Other people may mention specific words that will trigger a memory, which explains the power language has over us.
· The conscious experience is not merely wedded to the word, but it is consumed by it.
You can’t have a conscious experience without reducing it to thought.
It could be snowing and cold outside, but you wouldn’t be able to “have” that experience without the words that you use to evaluate the situation for yourself.
____________________
Plenty more where that came from.
Anyway, after class I hung around and ended up having lunch with my friend Niko, and had a refreshing 2 hour lunch or so, where we just chatted about stuff.
After lazing around, went to dinner (which was surprisingly good for 2 nights in a row!) and headed to the gym, where we picked up a dodgeball team sign-up sheet. Gonna be awesome. Eventually ended up back there with Dave and Chris in an exciting cut-throat racquetball match, where Dave's balls almost got nailed. "My sex life flashed before my eyes."
Unfortunatley, somebody stole my shoes today. No, not my $150 boots, my crappy tennis shoes that I used to play snow football last night at 1 AM. It was still my only pair that i KIND OF NEEDED.
Maybe I'll ask the parental unit to wire me some money for new shoes..
In other news, I recently got my Anthropology exam back, and I got an A MINUS. My European History paper which I BS'd a lot got me a well-deserved B+ (it wasnt ALL bullshit). Not too bad for a guy who missed two weeks of classes, I'd say. Not bad at all.
I'm finally on MYSPACE: http://profiles.myspace.com/users/19979723
Now if only Buff State could get on Facebook, I'd be all set..
The outlook for a Interpol/Q and Not U show is looking grim, as $25 is a lot for me right now, and Niko is down to..well, she doesn't have a lot of money at the moment, which creates a problem. And I haven't been playing cards lately, so that tosses any sort of income I have out the window.
Speaking of income, I'd about ready to send off a short (but complete) resume to Anne Arundel County's department of Health for a possible summer job working in their Division of Enviornmental Health sampling water from either the shoreline, numerous wells across the county, or public swimming pools (or working in the Sanitary something dept..) Either way, I'd get to be outside, I'd get 30-35 hours a week, and I'd be making $9.82 an hour and getting reimbursed for gas.
"Better than retail, better than retail, better than retail..." Trying to get an interview over spring break, which is March 28th to April 2nd, I think.
I'm too awake to try and sleep. This aint good. On the plus side, for next year's housing, we all get "points" depending on GPA, community activities, and credits. I got 743 points, while a lot of people got, well, a lot less. I'm just happy I got a good amount of points, this might help offset any possible suitemate that has almost 0 points.
