Dear Elle,


The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. They always have, and they always will. But I am not a quiet man. I can be rather vocal, outspoken, and outlandish, depending on how much I'm gambling with.

Even after a loss from a game on Tuesday, I found 42 cents in an old poker account online, and turned it into $9.25 in an hour and a half. It's a good omen.

Onwards!

The radio station I practically work at for no pay: WBNY. I like our GM, but he's really rather ineffective and lazy at doing his actual job. So rather than run for music director (which I still want to do) come elections, if no one steps up to replace him as General Manager, then I will. I've been busy lately with that shit, doing a lot of treasury business, and recently finalized some things in order to renew the station's license (every 8 years!)

One of my best friends in Buffalo since my first day of college -- James. We're obviously still friends, but things have been tough for him lately. He crashed his car by falling asleep at the wheel going back home about a week ago --- he has his life and his health intact, but $2500 damage on the car. Some credit card debt, a girlfriend going to study abraod for several months in Australia, and not much reason besides a couple friends, myself included, to stay in the dirty city of Buffalo past this semester. If that.

I understand his situation and don't fault him at all --- but it's tough, because he was the guy I was planning on living with, sharing an apartment with over the summer and next semester. Now my options are really quite limited, and I'm back to square one with myself in regards to that. Cause I'm 85% sure he's going to end up moving back to Rochester.

Not everything is bad, though. Many things are quite good. Classes are fine, volunteer work opportunities are kind of presenting themselves -- hopefully. And I've been seeing a lot more of a really cool, really pretty girl. Tennessee, actually. She's had to deal with a plethora of awful, rumor-spreading psychos on the floor of the dorm she lives in, and is luckily moving out to a different floor tomorrow, if all goes according to plan. I'm gonna help her out, and maybe try to figure out exactly where our relationship is going. It's certainly looking to progress nicely, at this point in time.

I'm really rather clueless as to the whole situation. It's a lovely feeling to be with someone who just kind of melts into your arms, and whose head rests rather comfortably on one's shoulder. She enjoys my eclectic personality, and I enjoy her optimistic, lighthearted way of living/thinking.

The requires traits of any woman I date: common sense and appreciation for poetry are both met, although I could expand her horizons on the latter of the two, I bet. Force some Walt Whitman or Allen Ginsberg on her, maybe. Heh heh.

I still want to get to know her better though. I've realized that I fear long term relationships right now. I'm absolutely terrified of them, also taking consideration what you told me on the phone several nights ago --- regarding how we analyze ourselves in these situations. By the way, I need you to call me one of these days. I don't know your schedule and mine is pretty reasonable. So yeah.

Do I like her a lot? Yeah. But we are opposites in many regards, too. Opposites attract, of course, but too much of a difference creates a big potential problem of both of us heading in two different directions, with two entirely different ways of thinking. I don't think we're THAT different, but it's something I need to take into consideration if I want to jump into a relationship.

I know YOU'd love her though. She enjoys expensive clothing and is liberal. And hot. Bam!

All this aside, rest assured, I'm happy and content at the moment. I hope you are too!


yr hmbl & obt svt,


kev ¶ 1:41 AM |